Forget Me Not
by Puck's Favourite Girl
Summary: Zack's voice kept me awake all night. " I wish I could forget you." rated T for slight language
1. One, two, three

**A/N A story inspired by the thought of a million what ifs. I wanted to incoporate Cody's insecurities, a beating, Drew and an emotional Zack. I hope you enjoy this story and be nice please! This is my first multi-chapter Suite Life story.**

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><p><span>Forget Me Not<span>

One

Don't flinch

Two

Don't beg

Three

Don't scream

Biting my lip so hard the skin gave way to the rush of coppery blood I cringed as the blood drowned my tongue. Coughing and spitting red from my mouth the boys around me sneered and kicked me in the shin for the third time to watch my leg twitch. Don't flinch. Don't beg. Don't scream. Those were the rules I had to live by every time I was used as their punching bag. But durout the years they've been picking on me it had never gotten this bad. They never tried to kill me before. They never even beat me. A kick to my knee brought me out of my fantasies of long ago. Don't flinch. Don't beg. Don't scream. One of the shorter boys sniggered nefariously as he grabbed my bruised arm and twisted it behind my back. My mouth opened in a silent scream. I groaned loudly in an attempt to express the white hot blinding pain my entire body was suffering. The leader of the group scowled and grabbing violently at my collar hauled me up and smashed me against the brick wall. Arching my back in pain I wished I could howl to the slowly fading sun. "What did we tell you about making noise bitch?" he glowered in my face and breathed hard on my neck.

I shook my head shakily and tried not to scream at the bruise being stretched by that movement. Tears poured out of my abused eyes. I didn't even try to wipe them away. Grime and mud covered my face with my tears running light tracks all over my cheeks. Blood caked my lip and I was tossed into the scarlet puddle below. I didn't know where all that blood came from, nor did I particularly care. It was all came from the same place. Me. Just as the broken bones and the bruises and scars and the cuts all came from them. The Drew Crew. Stifling my cries they pounded on me. Kicking and punching wherever they pleased. Forcing me to say things I would never have said otherwise. "Now repeat after me, I am a fag nerd whore that nobody likes. Not even my own mother loves me." Drew slapped my face in order to rouse me from my teetering consciousness.

Blearily I shook my head pleadingly. No. No. They were going to hurt me now. As expected, I received a strong kick in my hip. Exploding from the pain all around me I repeated the phrase in a choppy whisper of my voice. "I'm a fag nerd that no one likes, not even my own mother." I coughed up more blood.

Drew looked down at me like I was some sort of disease. "I feel sorry for your brother. He has to put up with you every day of his life." He shook his head sympathetically. "That's why you're here you know. Your precious Zacky told us to get rid of you. He said he loved to do it himself but his mom would know. And we couldn't have our best buddy grounded could we? No, besides, it's so much more fun doing it ourselves anyway."

I shook my head, not knowing where I got the strength. No. No. No. Zack wouldn't do that. Zack loved me. He was my brother. My big brother. My twin. He loved me…didn't he? I tried to remember the last brotherly thing he'd done for me and drew up a blank. My eyes widened in fear and sadness. No. It wasn't true! Zack would never tell the Drew Crew to get rid of me. Drew laughed mockingly. "Don't believe me huh geek? Think about it. Why would he want to be your brother? Out of all the twins he could have gotten he got stuck with you. A nerdy, geeky, loser with no sense in anything other than books. Who cries for his mommy when we beat him up and sleeps with a thirteen year old blankie. You're pathetic. Absolutely and utterly pathetic. Who would want to be your brother? Especially when Zack could be popular if it wasn't for you. You cramp his style, didn't you know that?" he sneered down at me and kicked me for good measure.

"No. You're wrong." I bravely whispered.

They couldn't be right. They just couldn't. I know Zack and I were different, but it was those differences that made us brothers. But…but when had Zack ever shown that he had cared about me? He had never said he cared. What if he didn't? "Please, you embarrass him to hell. He even said so himself. In the change room, the day your shorts fell off climbing the rope? He said you were the most embarrassing brother anyone could ever have. He said you were pathetic and that he wished he was an only child. He wished he could forget about you." He glowered at me wickedly.

I winced and curled into a ball. Deep in my heart I knew Drew was right. Zack didn't care about me. If he did, he would have come and saved me by now. He didn't care about me. No one cared about me. No one cared about me…suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I burst into fast and frantic tears. Sobbing and heaving I felt all the liquid in my body extricate itself for my tears. I bawled and howled in agony and pain. Zack hated me. Zack didn't want me. Zack wanted to kill me. Zack. Zack. Zack. Zack. Bawling like I've never bawled before I must have scared the Drew Crew away because the next thing I knew I was alone in the familiar alley where my blood had stained the ground.

Zack hated me. _He said he wished he could forget you…wished he was an only child…you're pathetic…no one loves me…told us to get rid of you…wish he could forget about you…_All I ever wanted was to make Zack happy. And if what he wanted was for me to disappear, for him to be an only child then he'll get that. I wouldn't exist to him anymore.

Uncurling myself I painfully stood up and step by step rounded the corner to the Tipton. I could do it; I could make it to my room. I had to. Hoping no one noticed the blood and the dirt and I slipped into the familiar lobby and tried to walk as fast as possible to the elevator. Each step felt like I was walking on sharp knives tipped with a white hot flame. I wanted to cry again, but first, I had to get to the suite. Finally making it to the elevator I collapsed onto the wall and weakly pressed the up button. Gasping for breath I waited there for what seemed like an eternity. Finally the ding of the elevator pierced the fogginess in my mind and I tumbled into the open doors. Pressing the 23 button I leaned on the railing and took deep, calming breaths. Since there was no sharp spasm when I breathed, I figured that no ribs were broken, that was a relief. I could attend to everything but broken bones. Hopefully nothing was too bad. Doors opening I clutched to the wall as I made my way to our suite. Turning the doorknob I stepped in cautiously. Mom was in the kitchen, her back turned to me and Zack- my heart jumped in my throat. He looked so innocent and picturesque. His eyes were glued to the TV and he was munching on popcorn, eyes wide from whatever action flick he was watching. I fought to keep the tears at bay. He doesn't want me, I reminded myself. He doesn't love you. The thought tore at my soul and my knees wobbled in the effort to keep me a loft. Holding my breath to keep from screaming I sprinted to the bathroom trying to ignore the screaming of my body. Slamming the door shut I blasted the water in the bathtub and sobbed. Everything hurt. The blazing ache in all my muscles, my bones, my everything, wouldn't let me rest. Stripping of my blood soaked clothes I dropped into the tub and let the warm water soothe my aggrieved body. Moaning I lay my head against the back of the tub and lay there for a few minutes.

Getting the energy from somewhere or other, I picked up the bar of soap and scrubbed myself clean, careful not aggravate the angry wounds threatening to burst open. Tears still streaming down my face I finally scrubbed myself clean and drained all the water. Wrapping a towel around myself I decided against it and let it drop to the floor. A mosaic of cuts, bruises, scars and tears decorated my body. I was a painting with only black and blue being the sole colours. Choking back a sob I picked up the towel and achingly stepped out. Everyone was in the exact same positions as before. Figures.

In my bedroom I put on new, fresh clothes and lay gently on my bed. It was only six o'clock, but I was exhausted. Eyes fluttering from sleep deprivation, I fell asleep to the sound of Zack's voice running through my head. _I wish I could forget about you._

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><p><strong>AN and there was my first chapter. Hopefully filled with suspense and a sense of Cody! At least, that's what I was going for. Tell me whatcha think :)**_  
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	2. Half of me missing

**Forget Me Not**

Chapter Two- Zack's POV

_Bring! Bring! Bring! _I groaned in my pillow. What the hell was that awful noise? Gahhh! Why won't whatever it is shut up! Crushing the pillow on my head to try and block out the sound I growled deep into my pillow. After three minutes of intense torture I finally threw off the covers and stood up on the floor. The sound seemed to be coming from Cody's side of the room. Glaring, I promised to kill him once he woke up. Although I had to admit, it was kind of strange for Cody not to be awake, I mean he was always the first one up and it was a school day! That's when I realized what the ringing was all about. Cody's antique alarm clock with the two bells was ringing like mad. I all but crushed the stupid thing. Turning the stupid around, I found the battery and prodded it loose before ripping it out and ending that horrible cacophony of noise once and for all.

Grumbling about the injustice of it all I suddenly remembered why I had gotten up in the first place. Cody hadn't woken up and turned the bloody thing off. This, in itself was odd. The normal routine was Cody waking up early and to spend all the extra trying to get me up. It was …a long process so to speak, but it worked, so we stuck with it. Now the question that was on my mind was why didn't Cody wake up? Throbbing with curiosity I leaped on his bed and shook him vigorously. "Cody! Codester wake up! We're late for school!" that always did the trick.

Predictably, Cody shot out of bed and unintentionally tossed me off the bed. "Huh?" he looked around blearily. "Who's in my room?" he asked suspiciously.

I gave my famous, are you dumb? Look before answering, "It's me dimwit." I stated obviously.

Confusion spread across his face. Eyes peering at me weirdly. "Who are you?" he leaned back warily.

I gave him a condescending look. What was he playing at? He knew perfectly well who I was. I mean, it's not like we hadn't spent the last thirteen years together or anything. "Cody. That's not funny. I'm your twin brother. How can you not know me?" I snorted at the very thought before turning to find some semi decent clothes.

Cody' voice caught me off guard. "No seriously, who the heck are you? I don't know you. Why are you in my room?" his voice was rising and I heard the fear laced in it.

My stomach clenched. Dread crawled up my spine and hands shook slightly. Cody had to be joking; I never knew he was such a good actor though. He had to be joking, he just had to be. He couldn't have forgotten me. Me! His brother, twin brother! It was impossible. Unheard of. No, it just couldn't be true. "Ha-ha Cody. Jokes up. Now get serious." My voice cracked a little at the end.

One look at his face told me all I needed to know. Cody was serious. I knew my twin's face like the back of my hand. I knew when he was sad, happy, mad, confused, serious and afraid. I knew when he was lying. And in his face, I saw no lie. My heart fell from my chest. My breathing sped up. My body shook with panic. No. No. No! How could Cody have forgotten me? How could he have woken up not knowing who I was? I was a part of him! I was his twin! How could he not remember me? No, it had to be a dream. A really, really bad nightmare. In a few minutes Cody would wake me up for school and cook up my favourite breakfast. Our favourite breakfast. Blueberry waffles with bananas on the side. Yeah, that's it. It was a dream. A really bad dream.

Pinching myself I urged my subconscious to wake up. Wake up! Wake up! Cody's alarmed voice shocked me from my self-induced pain. "What are you doing?" he asked worriedly.

Worry tinged his eyes, but I could still see the doubt and the caution that lay hidden in his blue eyes. "You don't remember me?" unable to help it, my voice cracked in pain.

He shook his head, causing his long blonde hair to tumble across his face. Eyes apologetic he asked me a question that tore me apart. "Should I?" innocent and not knowing I turned away so he wouldn't see the coming waterfall.

Tears. I hadn't cried in a long time. Ever since dad left, I hadn't shed a tear and now, now I bawling like a baby because my little brother didn't know who I was. My own twin didn't know my name. Didn't remember everything we've done. Didn't know why he should remember me. "I'm sorry." he whispered.

"What's your name?" I demanded.

Maybe…maybe he had that thing. Amsia? Nesia? Amnesia! Maybe he had amnesia! Secretly, I hoped that's what the problem was. At least, if he had amnesia, it wasn't just me he had forgotten. It would be everyone else too. The thought brought a sick pleasure in me. I know it was wrong to wish that he forgot everyone else, but I was selfish. I didn't think I could bear it if he remembered everyone but me. "Cody Martin." He stated mechanically.

"Mother? Father? Address?" I shot off questions like a machine gun.

Please. Please. Please. Don't not remember me. "Carey Martin. Kurt Martin. Boston Tipton." he answered everything perfectly and knowingly.

My heart rose in my throat and I fought to keep more tears from gushing down. "Who are our best friends?" I asked, fearing the answer.

He looked at me strangely. "I don't know who our best friends are, but my best friends are Max, Bob, Barbara and Tapeworm."

My jaw dropped. He didn't remember me. He really, truly didn't remember me. I couldn't believe it. How was this possible? How could this happen? How could my best friend, my brother, my twin, be taken away from me in one day? Why did he remember everyone but me? Did I do something wrong? Is this some kind of twisted punishment? Taking the one thing I care about most in the world and leaving him with no memory whatsoever of me? I threw my head in my hands and sobbed dryly. This was by far the worst punishment I had ever gotten. Even no TV for a month was better than this. Cody continued to stare blankly at me. Suddenly, I just couldn't take it anymore. I cried out and bawled harder than I've ever cried in my entire life. Mom came rushing in wielding a pillow like an axe, her face fierce. "Zack! What's wrong?"

"You know him?" Cody's surprised voice echoed in my ears.

Hearing that made the tears fall faster as I threw myself onto my bed and refused to look up. Mom looked incredulously at her son. "Of course I know him, he's my son and might I add, your twin brother." She looked at him like it was obvious.

"No he's not. I'd think I'd remember if I had a twin!" his defensive voice rang out in the now silent room.

"Honey?" she started calmly, "Stop playing around, you're scaring your brother."

Before Cody had a chance to speak I looked up from my soaked pillow. "It's true mom." I told her, gasping for air, "He…he doesn't remember me!" I sobbed harder and pitched my head back into my pillow.

Mom's face paled considerably and she fell limply to on his bed. "Cody. Oh my god, my poor baby." Her eyes filled with tears as she hugged him close to her body.

Patting her back soothingly he whispered comforting words in her ear. "Shh, it's okay mom, don't cry. It's alright."

"No it's not! You don't remember your own brother! You might have amnesia Cody! No, we're taking you to the hospital right now."

Cody started to protest before sighing in defeat. I was hurt by the gesture. Did he not want to remember me? Was that it? Could it be possible that he wanted to forget me? Shaking my head vehemently at the thought I forced the tears to stop falling. No. Cody wanted to remember me. I knew it. How could he want to forget me? We had the best times together. We were more than just brothers. We were best friends. He couldn't want to forget me.

A horrible thought overtook me. What if he never remembered? What if Cody lived the rest of his life in denial of Zack's existence? Living every day without fully remembering his past. Without remembering me. How would I survive? Cody meant the world to me. I know you're never supposed to think this way, that you're supposed to feel complete with just you and all that, but he was literally my other half. We completed each other in a way that couples strived to. I couldn't live without him, but now, I was starting to think I'd have to learn how. I always knew that someday, we'd be apart. We'd have our own lives and new families, but it was supposed to be a gradual process. Bit by bit. He wasn't supposed to forget me! This was like my worst nightmare. My biggest fear. The famous saying, there's a fate so much worse than death, suddenly made sense to me. Cody not remembering me was a lot worse than Cody being dead. At least, I wouldn't have to see an exact replica of myself and know that he had no idea who I was. To know that even though you loved him more than life itself, he had no idea you existed. Didn't know that we existed as one entity. Zack and Cody. That's how it was. Never just Zack and never just Cody. We were always together, that's how it was supposed to be. It went against the law of nature that my other half didn't know who I was. It was an abomination. An Outrage, atrocity, wrong. Just plain wrong. Wrong an unfair.

What was I supposed to do knowing Cody didn't remember me? Nothing could be worse. I tried to remember the last thing I said to him before he forgot all about me. Try as hard as I might, I couldn't remember. I hated that word. Remember. Forget. I hated them.

Mom yelled at me to get dressed, we were going to the hospital. Throwing on random articles of clothing I hurried out the door and grabbed Cody's familiar hand. Ignoring his cry and his struggles to pull his wrist out of my hand I shoved open the bathroom door and hauled him in. "Quit squirming. I was always stronger then you." I informed him bitterly, but of course, you don't remember that.

He stopped wiggling about all of the sudden. I followed his entranced gaze and met his eyes in the mirror. I let his hand drop from mine and stared back into my reflection. Identical. That's what we were. Same shaggy blonde hair, same sparkling blue eyes, though mines were pink and teary. His hand pressed against the glass and the wonder in his eyes quickly gave way to disbelief. "We really are twins." He whispered wonderingly.

Looking away I struggled to contain my emotions. "Yeah, we really are." I choked.

"I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I'm trying to remember something, anything, but I keep drawing a blank. It's seems that no matter what I do, I just can't remember you." His voice was sincere and I recognized the apologetic look adorning his face.

I didn't know what to say. What does one say when their twin apologizes for not knowing who they are? Shrugging my shoulders I walked out the door, I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. Mom was already outside the door by the time Cody came out. Piling into the elevator I kept to myself and tried to ignore the glances Cody kept shooting my way. With a ping that elevator doors opened and we stepped out into the busy lobby. Ignoring everyone we pushed through the doors and hailed a yellow cab. "Get me to the nearest hospital." Mom commanded roughly at the surprised cabbie.

Nodding, he stepped on the gas and we lurched through the crowded Boston streets. Arriving at the large tan building we rushed out and ran to the Emergency Wing. "What's the problem ma'am?" a cute nurse with wavy black hair and a wavier figure asked us kindly.

Frantically, mom gestured to the younger twin. "My son, Cody, I think he has amnesia." Her eyes filled with worry and tears.

The nurse looked sympathetically at her before turning her attention to Cody. "Hello, can you tell me your name?" she asked sweetly.

"Cody Martin."

"Age?"

"Thirteen."

"Birthday?"

"November 4th" he answered self-assuredly.

The nurse frowned, confused. Scribbling something on a sheet of paper she hurried away, "I'll be right back."

Cody looked curiously at her before looking down at the floor again. Ten minutes of awkward silence later, she came back again. "Come this way please, Doctor Granate will see you now." My stomach clenched again.

Somehow, I knew this wouldn't be good. Tall and gloomy, didn't bother with introductions as he led Cody into the examining room. Mom and I waited outside impatiently for the aloof doctor to finish. Waiting anxiously outside the closed doors I started pacing. I was 100% sure that somehow, -up would come out of those doors and tell them that it was all a fluke and that Cody remembered everything now. That some…some big word physiological thingy happened, but it was okay because they had some amazing cure on hand. Yeah, it was going to be okay.

After what seemed like ions, the doctor came outside. And lo and behold, there was _emotion _on his face! With a dropping heart I realized it wasn't the one I was looking for. "Ms. Martin?" he asked hesitantly, "I have bad news and good news. The good news is, your son does not have amnesia." mom's face lit up expectantly. "The bad news is your son has a case of repressed memory." Her face dropped. Again.

I however, was confused. What the heck was a repressed memory? Actually, what the heck was repressed? My first thought was to ask Cody, but then I realized he had

a) Forgot about me and

b) He was in the other room

Taking my confusion in consideration he proceeded to explain. "A repressed memory is something odd and truly remarkable about the human brain. Usually after a traumatic experience or extreme guilt or other strong reoccurring emotion the brain will actually wipe away the memory to no longer feel the emotions associated with it. We all know that memories are connected to emotion, but when the emotion becomes too much, then the brain might find it necessary to erase it fully from itself. Now, in most cases, the brain erases just one memory. Think of it like a computer, there's a virus in one file in a singular folder. To prevent more damage to the computer, it erases the bad file. Now if we look at Cody's situation, well, it seemed like he didn't just delete one file, he deleted the whole folder, which up until now, we thought was impossible. He completely erased the "Zack File" so to speak and every memory of last night." After his mini soliloquy I think my heart stopped beating.

It was official. Life hated me. Cody wanted to forget about me. He truly, really wanted to forget about me. That's what the doctor just said wasn't it! "Now, that's not to say he meant to forget all about Zack, he could have been trying to get rid of a certain incident in his mind and accidentally did this to himself, that's what most cases are like. But right now, his repressed memory is only half the problem. Further examination of Cody's body showed extreme signs of physical abuse. Nothing broken, but he has several large bruises, scars, cuts and what seems like burns. Last night, something must have happened. I'm sorry Ms. Martin, but we think that due to his severe injuries, he wanted to forget and ended up forgetting all about Zack." He shook his head apologetically.

What! How dare that scumbag say that! He had just fully said, in front of my own mother that he thought I had beaten up Cody so he forgot about me to ease the pain. The nerve of him! Jackass! Bastard! Ire rage erupted within me and my hands curled into blazing fists. I'll show him how to _really_ beat someone up. Contempt and outrage must have been burning in my eyes since mom suddenly leapt forward and grabbed hold of me tightly in a twisted mockery of an embrace. "I didn't beat Cody up. I would never ever hurt him!" I exploded passionately.

Looking at me indifferently he shrugged. "Then why would he forget you?" he asked sardonically.

Shaking with fury I pushed past him roughly and walked into the white hospital room. Seeing Cody sitting there all curled up into himself dissipated the anger. "Hey Codes." I said softly.

He wouldn't look at me. "I heard what said to mom and you. "He whispered frightfully.

Oh no. Please please please no. He couldn't possibly believe that I beat him up did he? "Cody, I swear I didn't do that to you! I would never-!"

"I know. I don't know how I do, but I know you didn't do it. I wish I could remember who, but everything after 4 o'clock is a black slate." He shook his head in self-hatred.

"How does it...how does it feel?" I asked timidly.

"What? To not remember anything or knowing that I deliberately forgot about my own twin?" he laughed cynically, "I don't know. I feel like I should remember and I feel horrible for forgetting you. I know it sucks to say this, but even though I don't really know you I feel something between us you know? Like, like a connection but it's kind of blocked. And I know that if I can just unblock it I'll remember, I just…I just don't know how."

I patted his shoulder and let out a little chuckle. "Well that's a first. The Cody Martin I know never doesn't know."

He scoffed, "It won't last long, I promise you that." His haw set squarely, " I will regain my memories. Just you watch." His jaw set in that Cody fashion that showed he was thinking real hard about something and I smiled.

In that moment I believed him. Once Cody sets his mind to something, he never stopped until he accomplished it. I knew that even if it took twenty years, he would find a way. I just hoped it didn't that long. "Well come on then, mom's taking us out to lunch." I hopped off the black bed thing and made my way to the door.

Vaguely, I wondered what tomorrow would bring. Would it be normal? Would Cody remember? Would everyone treat Cody weirdly? Are they gonna treat me weirdly? What if they all believed that I beat him up like that jerk doctor? Shaking away those thoughts I held fast to the thought that Cody knew they were twins and once he heard all the stories I had to tell him he was bound to remember before tomorrow. Hopefully.

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><p><strong>AN The next chapter will most probably be the last chapter unless I feel like being mean and leaving a horrific cliff hanger :) I'm pretty sure it's not possible to repress a memory about a person, since my research showed that it could only sometimes happen after a traumatic experience, but this all for the sake of the story. Hope you guys all liked it!**


	3. Forget Me Nots

**A/N Thanks to my three reviewers, you guys made my day :) well, this is the last chapter and I'm kinda sad about it. Zack's dream is kind of dramatic because I figured dreams are supposed to be a little unrealistic but I hope y'all like it.**_  
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><p><em> Dark. Everything was wickedly dark. Frozen, I couldn't move. Liars, they were all liars. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. It was impossible, the thing you see in sci-fi movies. Something that could never happen in real life. In reality. "He forgot about you Zachary. He didn't want to remember you anymore. You didn't appreciate him and now you've lost him forever." The snide voice of rang in my ears.<em>

_I fell to the floor, stained with blood and clapped my hands over my ears. "Shut up! Shut up!" I screamed hoarsely._

_Tears gushed down my cheeks to flop noisily on the ground, mixing with the scarlet liquid below. Blood. Blood everywhere, why was there so much blood? Why were my hands covered in red? Sticky and coppery, my hands were caked with the rotten smelling fluid. Caked all over my arm was more blood still and I noticed I was drenched in it. Panic swept me like a tornado. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, no, no, no. Sweat sprinkled my neck and it was suddenly too hot to breathe. Hyperventilating I tried to take deep breaths but then ceased when the smell of copper invaded my nostrils. Blood. So much blood. Weeping I tried to scrub the blood away, but no matter what I did, it stayed there, sticking to me like glue._

_A sudden movement caught my eye. Right in front of me, the air flickered and sparkled until a five foot figure appeared in front of me. Wispy blonde hair to his neck, scrawny figure, crisp blue eyes and a sharp nose. The figure glared at me coldly. Cody. _

_Or at least, a fake Cody. Real Cody would never look that…mean. A shadow clung to his face and his mouth curled up in an unbecoming sneer. Feet spread apart in a fighting stance, his body emanated hatred and anger. Jaw clenched and fists curled I refused to look in his eyes. Looking into what I knew would be a bottomless abyss of contempt. I couldn't bear to see those emotions directed at me. I whimpered. Cody would never look so hateful. Cody was always kind and sweet and sensitive. Cody wouldn't hate me. Cody wouldn't forget me._

"_There's blood on your hands Zack." He said eerily._

_Still unable to look him in the eye, I put on a pitiful look. Why? Why was I covered in blood? Why was Cody here? And more importantly, why did Cody hate me? "Cody." I whimpered pathetically._

_I sensed his eyes rolling in disgust and grimaced. "There's blood on your hands Zack. My blood. "My head snapped up in horror._

_No._

_Morphing in front of my eyes Cody's clothes tore and more blood then I ever knew a person had leaked out of body. Cuts and bruises exploded all over his body and dirt caked his face and arms. "You did this to me Zack. It's your fault, all your fault!" Cody's accusations brought me to my knees._

_Shaking my head violently I pleaded with my younger brother. "No, please, Cody, no I didn't do it! I would never do it! Please!" everything was blurry._

_Tears clouded my vision and I could barely see him shake his head in anger. "No. I won't ever forgive you for this. Ever!" his figure shimmered._

_He was leaving me. No! Flickering even more I jumped up. I wouldn't let him leave, I wouldn't. Running, I tried to get to him before he left. I had to say sorry. He had to forgive me. "Wait! Don't go. Don't leave me!" my cries fell on empty ears. "Cody!" passion and misery combined into an agonizing scream._

_Gone. Nothing but air and blood. I was alone. He was gone. He had left me…and I deserved it. I fell to my knees, defeated. I'm sorry Cody. I'm so, so sorry. I wasn't there when you needed me. I'm sorry! But please, please don't leave me. Don't leave me all alone…_

"Zack! Zack get up, it's time for school!" a voice rang out cheerfully.

What? Cody? Cody! He was alright! He was here! It was just a dream. "Cody! You're okay! I knew it was just a stupid dream." I snorted and grinned at him. "I mean, you? Forget me? Ha!" I laughed until I saw his face.

Guilt and sympathy adorned his face. Oh. My head dropped and hung there limply. Guess it wasn't a dream. Not giving him a chance to say anything I slipped out of the worn covers and padded my way to the door, careful not to trip over the random assortment of toys and sharp objects that littered our floor. Slamming the door shut behind me I opened the bathroom door and stared in the mirror. Mirrors never lied.

Puffy and pink my eyes stuck out from my pale face. Turns out I was crying in my sleep. Nice. I looked dead and I felt dead too. Shaking my head I tried to channel my inner playboy. I needed to be confident and cool today. Social suicide awaited me if I turned up to school like this; a huge emotional mess that couldn't stop crying. I needed to be strong. Not only for myself, but for Cody. After yesterday, I couldn't let him see me cry ever again. Not knowing who I really am, he probably thought I was a big cry baby loser by now. Besides, I still didn't know who beat Cody up and I was hoping I'd find out today. I couldn't be puffy eyed when I avenged my brother. That just wasn't cool.

Rotating the faucet I revelled in the cool relief the cold water brought me. Dunking my hands under the water I splashed my face and was pleasantly surprised when I felt a helluva lot more energized and awake then I was two minutes ago. Huh, I guess Cody's wash-your-face-in-the-morning thing was actually for a reason. Happy to find the pinkness gone from my eyes and a bit of colour returning to my face, I sprinted back to our room to grab some new clothes. Thankfully, mom had done the laundry the minute we got home from the hospital. Meaning she dumped it down the laundry shoot and waited an hour for the maid to bring it up.

Getting dressed in under a minute, a new record might I add, I sat at the table expectantly. Normally, Cody would have already had breakfast made and would be serving me whatever delicacy he'd created right now. But I guess mom was taking over cooking today since Cody was sitting on the table with me. He looked miserable and guilt shone in his eyes. Deciding to give the poor kid a break I patted his back affectionately, "Hey, don't worry about it, I just had a…weird dream so I was kinda messed up when I woke up. Stop looking so miserable. I hate it when you're sad. You get that pouty look that just makes me feel so guilty!" I exclaimed comically.

As I hoped, that got an amused smile and a considerably less depressed Cody. Mission accomplished. Two steaming plates were tossed in front of us and mom beamed from behind Cody. "Breakfast is served!" she elaborately gestured to the two non-elaborate plates.

Oooooh, toaster waffles drowned in syrup. Awesome. Smiling exasperatedly, I couldn't help but feel for her, she looked so proud of herself. "Thanks mom." We chorused.

It was kinda cool how we still had twin speak when we weren't even twins anymore. I mean, does it count if he doesn't know who I am? Getting rid of the stupid thought before it made my brain hurt, I devoured my gooey food before grabbing my bag and turning the doorknob. "Cody! Come on! We're gonna miss the bus!" I urged him.

Mom stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh my dear sweet lord. Cody…Cody, am I dreaming? Did Zack just say he didn't want to be late?" her voice was high in the clouds and she looked just about ready to faint.

I rolled my eyes. Typical, can't a guy have an ulterior motive to go to school in peace? Jeesh. Cody just stared perplexed. "What's so odd about that?" he asked innocently.

Carey collapsed into the nearest chair. "What has the world come to?" she murmured softly.

Cody looked away quickly and leaving his half-finished breakfast bounded out the door. Poor guy, guess he realized what a faux pas that was. It wasn't his fault he didn't know what a slacker I was. Then it hit me, he didn't know anything about me. He didn't know I was lazy, not smart, athletic, or that I was failing all my classes. He didn't know I was the bad twin. For some reason, I didn't really know how to feel about that. On one hand it bothered me. Maybe you could forget memories, but how do you forget characteristics? But on the other, it gave me a strange urge to prove myself. To prove to my brother that I wasn't a screw up. That I deserved to have him as a brother. That I deserved to be remembered.

"Zack?" Cody's timid voice brought me back to reality.

"Yeah?"

"Why would I forget you? You're a really good brother and I'm happy when I'm around you, why would I forget you?" raw emotion powered his voice and my steps faltered.

If only I knew. Deciding to come out with the truth I mumbled my response. "You know, you haven't told me that in your entire life. Truth is, I'm not always a good brother, a good twin. I made fun of you a lot. I teased you and put you down. I called you geeky and nerdy and I reeled you into a lot of my crazy schemes. You were always the nicer of the two of us. The good twin. The better twin." Shaking my head, a cynical laugh bubbled up inside of me.

Quiet ruled the elevator before Cody spoke. "So what? Isn't that what brothers do? They tease each other. I'm sure I teased you too. Besides, I don't know you, but I get a feeling that you're not giving yourself much credit. I bet you were a great brother, if you weren't, I wouldn't feel so…trusting towards you."

I glanced at him curiously. Noticing my look he laughed happily. His laugh brightened me up and I decided to bring myself out of my funk. I should be elated that Cody was even alive; he could've gotten hurt real bad but got away with only cuts and bruises. "I dunno why, but for some reason, I trust you with my life. Maybe it's my subconscious, maybe it's my memory trying to resurface, but I trust you, so you obviously couldn't have been a bad brother." He smiled encouragingly and I felt like a million bucks.

I never lied to myself about being a model big brother, but I tried to be there for Cody when he needed it. Making fun of him was just how I showed I cared and Cody knew that. He never let anything I say really bother him and I made up for any harsh comments by always standing up for him and protecting him from idiots like Drew and his cronies. But hearing him say that he thought I was a great brother made the angels sing. I did love my brother despite popular belief and knowing he thought highly of me made my day.

Sprinting out the elevator we barely made it in time to catch the bus before it drove off without us. "Zack! Cody! Over here!" Max's voice rang out from the cacophony of teenage noise.

Mustering my cockiest grin I sauntered over to her seat and plopped down next to her. "Hey Max, what's up?" I wasn't really feeling the creativity today.

"Nothing…just that I got the new Alien Smash 4 game yesterday!" she gushed excitedly.

Eyes widening in shock I gasped. "Y...yo…yy...you have Alien Smash 4?" veneration filled my voice and I swear hearts pumped out of my eyes.

"Calm your hormones geek; I'll beat your sorry butt tomorrow after school, my place." Smirking smugly she cocked her head to the side challengingly.

"Yeah? You're on. But don't go crying to your mommy when you lose." I mimed bawling and quickly realized my mistake when her eyes narrowed.

Uh oh. Preparing myself for a punch I was saved by the stomping of feet and the crowds' sudden silence. What the-" Yo, clones! Whatcha guys doing here?" a demanding voice filled the growing silence.

I was surprised when I saw Cody rolling his eyes. " Jee Drew, I guess the one brain cell you had died." Shaking his head in fake concern I smirked proudly. "I guess the big yellow school bus, the screaming kids and that big old building over there called school didn't give you a big enough hint." he smiled in satisfaction when pink tinged the bully's cheeks and that haughty expression dulled.

Laughter exploded from the nervous students and several hands reached over to slap him on the back. Calls of "Moron!" and "Nice one Cody!" further boosted my pride of my little brother and I smirked at the red bully. Sadly, embarrassment quickly gave way to rage. Fists curled and ready Drew snarled savagely, "If you know what's good for you Martin, I'd shut up."

He scoffed. Oh please, like he could do anything to him while I was around. "Or what? You couldn't touch me if I was strapped to my seat with duct tape." Glowering, he dared him to contradict him.

I had no idea why Cody was being so cocky all of the sudden. He never had the guts to stand up to bullies before and now, after he had just gotten beat up he was going around shooting his mouth off just looking for trouble. Alarm bells rang loudly in my head though at what happened next. As if a light switch had turned on somewhere from within, Drew's fuming face gave way to a sickeningly sweet expression. Fists uncurling he relaxed his posture and smiled at me. "You're right. I'm sorry." Smiling once again he kept walking until he slid into his VIP seat in the back with all the other jerks.

Still gaping in confusion, I missed the evil look adorning his face and the glare he shot in Cody's direction.

* * *

><p>As I expected, the entire school new about Cody's loss of memory by the time lunch rolled around. Awkward stares and sympathetic looks followed me to the lunch line and back to my table. I swear, I had never felt more uncomfortable in my life. Eyes bored into my back and ten minutes into lunch I had pushed away my tray of unidentifiable goop. I was too nervous to eat. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer and I burst from my seat and turned around to face the idiots that dared to look at me. "Don't you losers have anything better to do?" I must have shocked most of them because the next thing I knew, no one would look me in the eye and everyone was picking at their food.<p>

Muttering about the injustice of it all I stormed out of the cafeteria, conscious of the hundreds of eyes staring me down. Slamming the doors shut I lashed out yelling and kicked the wall. Ignoring the throbbing pain in my foot I hobbled toward the bathroom and tried to calm down. I didn't know what it was about everyone looking at me like that but I knew that it ticked me off. Really, ticked me off. Eyes still narrow with outrage I didn't notice Drew and the rest of his thugs until my nose connected with his rather flabby chest. "Ow!" I cried, clutching at my aching nose.

Drew sniggered before pushing me away from him. "Watch where you're going Martin." He ordered sternly.

Glaring up at him, I dignified him with a response, "What do you want Drew?"

He leaned back casually against the lockers and shrugged. "Nothing…so is it true that your nerdy clone forgot about you?" he laughed cruelly, "Wow, well nothing says I love you like forgetting about your brother." By now, I was shaking with ferocity. "But then again, who would want to remember you? But that's not the point, I heard he forgot all about the night he was beat up. That true?" His eyes lit up earnestly as if the answer to that question was the most important thing in his life.

Briefly, I wondered why he cared so much but decided not to answer. Noticing my lack of enthusiasm he pushed on. "I guess I can see why he would forget though, I mean, what good are you anyway? At least nerds are useful, but you, you have nothing to offer the world. You're lazy, stupid, an underachiever; I bet you don't even know who the president is." He frowned mockingly and at that moment, nothing would have given me more pleasure then knocking that frown off his face.

"Shut up Drew." I warned quietly.

"Or what? You couldn't touch me even if I was duck taped to a chair." He sneered.

Oh it was on! Right now I was about as mad as a hornet and I was ready to sting like one. Drew was gonna get it and he was gonna get it good. Drew loved to make my life a living hell and he never got in trouble for any of it. Well you know what? That was all gonna change, I was gonna show him what happens when you mess with Zachary Martin. Getting ready to throw the first punch a voice echoed down the hall. "Zachary Martin just what do you think you're doing?" Mrs. Dryder's voice grated on my ears and I slumped in defeat.

Busted.

After being chewed out for an hour, I was issued with an after school detention and a warning. Which was pretty good. Normally, I would have gotten a week's worth of detentions and gone straight to the principal's office. I guess she took pity on me or something sappy like that. Shrugging it off and vowing to get that scumbag back I walked back to class and waited for the last bell to ring. Maybe I could sneak out of detention…

Class dragged on and I couldn't help but think about Drew's questions. Why did he care so much about that night? And why did he care about Cody's messed up memory. It's not like it mattered to him or anything, he didn't care about either of us. Actually, he full out hated us. Which stopped me dead in my tracks. My thoughts pulsed violently in my head as I tried to process everything. What if…maybe…no. No way in hell did Drew- but suddenly, it all made sense. Why else would Drew care whether or not Cody remembered his attackers? Why would he be happy knowing that that part of his memory was gone? Drew had a motive and he just gave me proof. Sure it wasn't solid proof, but it was still proof. And besides, even if he didn't beat up Cody, I'd still get the satisfaction of beating his sorry ass up. Yup, it was a win-win situation.

However, if Drew actually did beat my twin brother up…well, I pitied his parents. There wouldn't be anything left to bury when I was through with him.

Fueled by outrage and a thirst for revenge, the rest of the day sped by and the final bell rang. Shooting out of class like a rocket I stuffed my stuff in my bag and ran off to find Cody. Once I knew Cody was gone, I would go and find Drew. I didn't want Cody to be anywhere near him. Getting to his locker I was worried when I didn't see the familiar sweater vest sticking out in the crowd. Searching frantically for my brother I still couldn't spot him. Dread knotted up my stomach and my heart pounded in my chest. Everything slowed down and the people walking by became blurs and all I could hear was my heart beat and Cody's screams from my nightmare.

Rushing to his locker I hurriedly turned the dial and swung it open desperately. Maybe Cody packed his stuff early and was already in the bus line or maybe he went off to see a teacher about some extra credit project for some advanced class or other. He must be doing something, anything; he just couldn't be with Drew. Please, please, please. Disappointment and fear hit me like a blow in the head. Cody's orderly binders where right where he left them, untouched. His red backpack hung on his hook and everything was still. Oh no. Oh no. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't let it happen.

Gritting my teeth in frustration I dropped my bag and tore through the halls trying to figure out a way to find Cody. I needed to find him. I needed to. That's when the light bulb flashed above my head and I realized where he was. When I opened his locker, everything was there except for his math binder and his gym bag. And since gym was last period for Cody according to his schedule, that's where he had to be. Taking a deep breath I sprinted down the hallway and made a sharp turn until I spotted the boys change room. Maybe he was just taking a long time to change or something. He was alright. He had to be…Shoving open the door, my world exploded in a kaleidoscope of red and silver.

* * *

><p>My baby brother was curled up on the filthy gym floor, once shiny with sweat was gleaming crimson from an open wound from his leg and glimmering in the florescent lights was the culprit, a six-inch switch-blade. Jeers and laughter polluted the room and legs flew out from everywhere. Pained cries escaped from ravaged lips. Crystal tears streamed down Cody's face. And I swear to god that in that moment I had never felt more protective or compassionate about my brother in my life.<p>

Like a lion bursting from his cave I roared in fury and stomped over to the disgraces of the human race and violently shoved Drew away from my brother. The rest of the Drew Crew stepped back sensing a good fight. Tense and ready I rocked on the balls of my feet and glared hatefully. Channeling all my anger and pain and rage into that glare I was rewarded when he stepped back. Without giving him a chance to fight back, I punched him in the stomach, striking like a jaguar and grabbed his wrist. Bending it back aggressively the blade clattered to the ground. Glowering disgustedly at the sorry weapon I kicked it away from me into the direction of the benches behind me.

Still winded from my punch I immediately turned to Cody. "Cody?" my voice cracked in anguish.

His eyes met mine and a spark flickered behind those pained eyes. Oh Cody… "Bastard!" Drew's savage cry forced me to turn around.

Serious and hateful I stared him down. "I'm going to kill you for what you did to my brother." M voice was quiet and serious.

Instead of looking scared like he should have been, he scoffed. "Oh please, I don't even see why you're defending him; you probably already know I was the one who messed him up two nights ago. Yeah, that was fun. "He laughed coldly, "But he doesn't even remember you anymore Zack. You think your some great brother and you guys have all this brotherly love and shit. Well newsflash, he hates you. Yup, your precious baby brother hates your guts. That was the last thing he said to us you know, said that he hated you since you never came to save him. You're supposed to be his big brother, but some kind of protector you are. You let him get beat up and you let him hate you. That's why he forgot about you. Cody hates you." Looking intently in my eyes I saw the cruelty hiding behind those brown irises.

In mine however, tears sprung up and trickled down my face. Liar. He's a liar! I would never let Cody be hurt! I wouldn't. If I had known-_but you didn't know, you're a horrible brother, a horrible twin._ A sardonic voice in my head tore me apart. No. No. No. I'm here now, I'm protecting him now. No one was going to hurt my brother ever again, I could promise that. No one.

"You're a liar Drew. And even if it's true I don't care. I don't care if Cody hates to me to hell. I don't care if he never remembers me. He's my brother and I'll always fight for him. I'll always protect him. No matter what. And no one, and I mean no one, hurts my little brother. So bring it on Drew. "I spread my arms wide and braced myself for whatever was to come.

Scowling he came and ran at me. Pretty much familiar with this technique I jumped to the side and grabbed his arm twisting it around his back. Howling in outrage, he kicked me on my shin and I grimaced trying to keep my grip. Pulling his arm further across his back, I hooked my leg around his ankle and tugged his body into mine sending us both crashing to the floor. Falling with a thud I was pleased to note that Drew had broken my fall and I didn't even feel a thing. On the other hand, Drew's nose was gushing blood and I was pretty sure it was broken from the siren like wails he was emitting. Shaking my head I gave him a good kick in the stomach. "That was for Cody." I whispered menacingly.

I glared every other guy in the room down and dared them to try and come at me. Knowing the cowards for who they were I wasn't afraid when I spun on my heel to meet Cody. Turns out I didn't have to.

The minute I turned around Cody launched into my arms and sobbed his little heart out. Rubbing soft circles across his lower back I hugged him tight. I meant what I said. I didn't care if he never remembered me. I still loved him. And I would always protect him. Body wracking sobs tore at his frail body and I murmured into his ear. "Shh…it's okay buddy. It's okay." Lifting his head from my soggy shirt he looked into my eyes and a smile the size of Kansas broke out onto my face.

"Zacky." He whispered before collapsing back in my arms.

Walking out of the change room, twin still in my arms I walked us out onto the bench in the front of our school and sat there, arms still wrapped tight around my entire world. Cody. Cody was back. When I looked into his eyes a thousand memories flashed in front of my eyes. Climbing through the air vents together, bothering , checking out hot girls, helping me with my homework, teaching him how to skate-board, sharing our bike, hugging him after our fight, me comforting him after our parents' divorce, me "rescuing" him from math camp, choosing him over Theo, helping him cook a master meal for the critic. Every special memory was relived and in that moment I knew that Cody had finally managed to break down that wall. He had rediscovered our twin connection. He had found me again.

All of the anger harboured inside of me, all of the fury, all the rage dissipated when I looked down at my brother. Ecstasy was probably the closest word to come close to describing what I was feeling right now. Happiness, joy, bliss, gladness, glee, rainbows, butterflies, everything happy and beautiful mixed into this one emotion that bubbled inside of me like an over-flowing chocolate fountain. Unable to contain the wonderful emotion I gave a maniacal whoop and kissed the crown of my brother's head. Hugging him tighter I pressed my hand under his chin and raised his head level to mine. "You did it Cody. You did it! You remember again." I smiled brilliantly and my heart rose when he smiled back.

I had missed that smile. The smile Cody reserved just for me. Twin smiles. I hadn't seen it in what seemed like forever and it was then that I realized how important Cody was to me. I may make fun of him and say stupid things, but when it really came down to it, I knew I would do it all for him. Everyone always criticizes the people who think that other halves existed. The people who need others to feel complete. But how can you say other halves don't exist when here was living proof? We were exact opposites and we were twins. We were each other's other halves.

Sure, there will always be other's I love; mom, dad, friends, girlfriends, future wife, future kids, I'll love them all, but nothing could ever come close to this bond. A bond made stronger by our complimenting differences. It felt as though everything would be alright now that we were Zack and Cody again. Being just Zack just wasn't any fun. Lonely would be a better word for it. And I despised being lonely more than anything.

Finally calmed down somewhat Cody pulled his head up and stuttered. "Zack…Zack I'm so sorry. I never meant to forget you, I just, I thought that you hated me and I was so miserable and I didn't want you to hate me. You're the only friend that I can count on and it killed me when Drew said you wanted to forget about me and that you thought I was pathetic and embarrassing. I mean, I always knew I was, but-"he was rambling, something he did when he was scared or nervous. It was kind of endearing to be honest.

I shook my head at him and pressed my finger to his lips, silencing him with the power of surprise. "Cody. Listen and listen good. You remember what I said in the change room? Yeah, I meant it. Every single word. Drew's a liar, I thought you knew that." Sincerity dripped from my voice and I tried to offer any sense of comfort I could.

Guilty eyes looked away. Tears filming those familiar blue eyes he choked back a sob." I…I believed him because he was right. I am an embarrassing brother. I can't do anything right and you're popular and I'm just your nerd twin." He confessed sullenly.

Stupid Drew. Anger coursed through my veins again. Cody always had a problem with his self-esteem but this was just too much. He needed to know the truth. "Cody, yeah, you are a nerd and a geek and your no good at sports but if you didn't have all those qualities, then you just wouldn't be you. And I for one happen to like you. "I grabbed his chin and forced him to stare me in the eye. "Just the way you are." I kissed him on the forehead and tried to convey the emotions running through my soul. I knew it wasn't much of a confession and I knew that if the roles were reversed Cody would have some huge sappy speech at the ready with a bunch of I love you's and hugs. But I just wasn't as sentimental as he was and Cody understood.

But even though I knew he understood what I really meant and since I just couldn't outright say it without making a fool of myself I traced three symbols on his tiny wrist. His winning smile and the spark returning to his eyes told me he got the message. Peace and serenity ruled our emotions right then and I couldn't help but think about everything that had happened. Losing Cody was always one of my worst nightmares and in some strange way, I felt like I had cheated Death by bringing him back to me. Call me crazy, but to me, it really was like bringing Cody back from the dead.

Sitting there, on that bench waiting, tiny blue flowers swaying in the breeze caught my attention. I must have been staring at them intently since Cody smiled suddenly. "Forget-me-nots."

"Huh?" my intelligent response brought a small grin on his face.

"Those flowers you're staring at, they're called forget-me-nots." His gaze took on a far-away look that I felt the need to take away.

Untangling myself from his arms I stood up and walked to the little patch of blue and plucked one of the precious flowers from its stem. Returning to Cody I held out the little plant nervously. I knew it was girly, I knew it was dumb and that if anyone saw it, my reputation would be ruined forever but at that moment, I didn't care about all that. All I cared about was the symbolism that flower held and the hope that Cody would never let it go. Reaching out so accept my gift I beamed when both our hands wrapped around the tiny flower. Letting go, Cody brought it to his face and took a deep whiff of its sweet smell. Settling back in the chair, I wrapped my arms around him again and we eventually called mom and asked her to pick us up. We sat there for what seemed like a peaceful eternity, and all the while I kept Cody's wrist and traced the letters I hoped to one day be able to say out loud.

I 3 U

* * *

><p><strong>AN I hope you guys understood how Cody got his memory back, he lost it because Zack didn't defend him from Drew, and when he did and said that he didn't hate him, that triggered an emotional trigger that unleashed his memories. I hope you guys all liked it and that it wasn't too sappy. Also, in the last line, it should be I heart U so I hope the doc manager thing didn't get rid of the heart thing, that would really suck. Anyway, I'm working on a new story with a different look at the Zack/Cody/Girlfriend jealousy aspect, I was thinking that the gf would be jealous of whichever twin she wasn't dating, any opinions on that? Anyway, later! **


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